Bank Shots at the Cultural Hub of the Midwest

What a rack! I'm talking about stripes and solids set to break.

I haven't had my laptop with me for a long time because I have discovered that pool is a great way to meet people. I don't hang out in the corner, intimidated by chicks and their guys. I can put down a quarter and find friends....well, people who play pool or pretend to.

My Night Out

A miracle of nature is what they call me; no one would ever believe that I'm half a century old. it's my birthday and I'm at Grimaldi's--just what I needed. Cookie is behind the counter. She knows where the pizza goes and what you drink.
You walk in, you hear: "Have a seat. Red or white?"
"Be out shortly."
I like white pizza. The garlic paste is like candy.

The Man-ster

And yet another tempting email device offering:

Help her realize all of her dreams with our help for a short time.
Dear Customer!
*We present new unique preparation will enlarge your phallus.*
It gained popularity over the whole world and helped to many people
*This is the Manster*
More than 100 000 men in the entire world have already been
pleased by the quantity and efficacy of ManSter
And this is a opportunity for you! Join to them.

Enlargement Emails

The spam filters gets some, but there are always a few sneaky messages that make it into my inbox. Here's one I just received this morning. Wonder if they carry this enlargement device on Amazon?!:

Your wife doesn't admire to had sex with you along of your male
device length.

Don't worry you can solve this problem right now.

All you have to do is just make use of our device enlargement.

You will forget about trouble and your girlfriend will be happy.

Man in Search of a Killer Body...

I joined a new gym this weekend and its unusually clean. Seing clean corners and no dust under the equipment, I take off my coat and head for the eliptical machine. The man beside me looks like a model and the one on the other side looks vegetarian. I'm caught between stunning looks and good health, so I start pedaling.

Suffer the Children

Suffer the Children - In the wake of the Ted Haggard embarrassment, you never have to wait long before the liberal, mainstream media (aka everyone except Fox and the WSJ) tries to slander yet one more Baptist Minister with Satanic facts. This time, it’s South Carolina Baptist minister Timothy Lynn Brumit who has been caught in reality’s pernicious snare. [...] [Betty Bowers for President]

Nanna's Ironmatic

Image of an Ironmatic

When I was small, my nanna had one of these. she used to iron bedsheets, pants, dresses. Man she loved to Iron. She would stack 5 or 6 LPs on the HI FI and hum gospel tunes, including Burl Ives and the Korean Childrens Choir while she put through sheet after pillow case, after garment.

Parasite Pals Quiz

Okay, this is really something. That wacky company Archie McPhee developed a quiz for you to identify which parasite you best identify with.
I got blinky the eyelash mite! Identify your own Parasite Pal today!

Pick up lines. Skinny Nicole had her kid.

You've got to visit the Forum topic section of this site. Rudy V. posted a great story that we can all relate to - and there's no ending - so it's a real cliff hanger!!!

I'd love to hear your own 'how to break the ice' stories and suggestions, so please visit the Forum and share with us your favorite pick up lines or good ones that you've heard. Quite frankly, we could all use some help in that area! My father used, "do you drink beer?" which worked, but I continually question!

Mother's Little Helper

Picture of the Oster StimulaxIt's the start of a new semester. hey there! I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and I tried my normal tricks (hot very vanilla soy milk; watching "Sex in the City"; cruising Craigslist; and searching for Eames on eBay). Nothing seemed to work. Then, I remembered my special Oster device. When I first found this treasure I was intimidated by its large toggle switch. Not any more!

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